Roaring Lion

How Do You Manage Anger?

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Cover photo from Pexels.

by Lenna

I have to confess I’m pretty hot-tempered, and I come by it honestly. While my dad was calm when angry, my mom had a fiery temper. I used to literally run and hide from her when she started raging, especially since she had a habit of throwing things. When she was really mad, her aim was deadly accurate!

I take after my mother, except that I don’t throw or punch things. Unfortunately, there are plenty of other anger-induced behaviors that can lead to regret.

I’ve learned the hard way all about letting my temper get the best of me. Some things, once said, can never really be taken back. They leave a filthy residue, even after a sincere apology has been offered and accepted. Who needs that?

So I have some coping strategies I’ve learned over time.

These are strategies from our Prophet ๏ทบ that have worked the best for me when I’m REALLY MAD!

Change position and make Wudu

I have found this works! If you are sitting when you get mad, stand, and if you’re standing, sit. If that doesn’t work, then make wudu (ritual washing).

Wudu keeps your hands and mind occupied, and you are repeating things which are soothing. By the end, you are almost certainly going to be more calm and level-headed.

Be calm and silent

I find this to be very difficult sometimes. But if I can stop just long enough to make the decision to spend some time being calm and silent, it definitely helps!

If you want to know more about his advice regarding anger management, you can read this.

Expanding on this idea a bit, one thing that REALLY works for me is specific WAITING PERIODS!

If someone puts me in a rage online (that almost never happens, right?), and I want to fire back and maybe even take revenge…set the whole place on fire!!! GRRRR!!!!… I make myself wait before taking any drastic action. Usually for 24 hours.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t necessarily mean I manage to remain completely silent. I wish! ๐Ÿ™‚

But it does stop me from full-on rage and drastic steps, like–gasp!–flipping out and deleting my account on the offending forum.

Wait Wait Wait…

If it’s noon when a conflict breaks out, then I have to wait until noon or later the next day before taking any concrete steps. I almost always decide NOT to do whatever I was going to do. I can’t even think of a time where it seemed like a good idea after some cooling off!

But if I’m still iffy after one waiting period, sometimes I’ll defer for another 24 hours, just to be sure. By then I often can’t imagine why I thought of doing such a thing in the first place!

Even if I do still take some action after all that waiting and contemplating, it’s much less drastic and more likely to be constructive rather than destructive.

What are some strategies that work for you?

51 comments

    1. Hmmm…..there has been a troll coming here pretending to be various friends from Disqus, including Fex, Nfaly and Gul. So it’s hard for me to know if it’s really you. Usually I confirm by asking the person on Disqus, but I think you deleted your account.

      Since you are NOT on the proxy the troll tends to use, I’m optimistic. Let’s say it really is you….

      Salaam Sis…great to see you’ve stopped by. ๐Ÿ™‚ Of course you can talk to me anytime. Here or DM on Twitter @LennCat, or email lenncat@protonmail.com.

      1. Walaikum asalam. It is indeed me, and not a troll. However I understand if you would like me to confirm myself, for which you can ask me anything you like. I do not use twitter and prefer not to give my email to anyone. So I think it would be ideal to talk here.

    2. There is no “reply” on the comment where you asked me if I understand Urdu, so I’ll reply here.

      Sort of….I can’t speak fluently, but if you write in Urdu, I can usually make out what you’re saying. http://disq.us/p/1pp4pbw What I probably can’t do very well is reply in Urdu. Not beyond something very basic. ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. Alright. I just thought maybe I could show you some bayanat in urdu that would help. Anyways, you must remeber that I raised the issue of deleting Islamic channels on disqus. That is what I would like to speak about.
        I dont trust that place anymore. Honestly, you dont know who trust. I saw a post from Nfaly in Urdu and even one from Yusuf, although it seems impossible that either of them knows the language.
        I remembered you run a blog so it just occured to me that I can contact you here, and that you wont be a sock account or a troll because you run a blog. So I decided, I dont know if this is against my better judgement, to try to discuss that issue once again here without fear of disruption.
        And since you now own the FRA, it only makes more sense to speak with you on the matter.
        I would like to discuss some very ignorant roles played by the Muslims on disqus. And I feel that discussing the matter is more important than being silent about it.

    3. I’ve seen Nfaly speak Urdu and I was surprised, since he’s in the UK and his parents are from Ghana. How would he be fluent in Urdu? Even if he spoke it, I”d expect it to be more on my level—very basic. But you never know, with people’s various twists and turns in life.

      As for Yusuf, I’ve seen him say TWICE that he doesn’t know Urdu, once directly (recently) and once indirectly sometime back when he indicated he didn’t know what the word “bhai” means. So I would find it very odd if he suddenly started speaking and writing in fluent Urdu!

      Of course you never really know who anyone is on Disqus, or what his or her true agenda is. I’ve accepted that reality as part of the platform.

      What are your exact concerns? Do you think the FRA is doing more harm that good? Would you like to see it take some other direction? Are there people you think are undermining the channel? I’m not sure exactly.

      Lately I’ve been working on some stuff behind the scenes, including a basic 4-part series on Shariah. Then I plan to depart from that and talk about philosophy and history as they pertain to Islam. I can defend my credentials better in the latter case.

      Do you have some recommendations?

      1. Yes I think the channel is doing more harm than good. Actually the problem is with the Salafi mindset. That is the root of the problem. A salafi is self taught in Islam. They dont sit in the mahfil of ulamaa, they dont have ijazah (certificate) on any part of deen. They read Quran, learn Arabic, read the Sihah Sitta, a few works of Ibn Taymiyya(ra), some from Ibn Qayyim(ra), a lot from the deviant Nasir udin Albani, and end up becoming scholars.
        Then because they do not have the Adaab of Ilm, they will talk fiqh even with non Muslims!
        There is principles on how to do everything. One of the fundamental principles of debators in Islam is that when you want to explain something to an Aalim you explain it with daleel. When you want to explain it to a non Aalim you explain it with misaal (example). Because the daleel will go over his head. And here on disqus the daleel is being displayed in front of outrights jaahils, like atheists. Quran and hadeeth is being quoted and misquoted as thought Islam has become an orphan.
        Anyone can speak on delicate Islamic issues now, and this door has bee opened by none other than the ghair muqallideen (salafis). This is zulm on Islam. Leave fiqh to faqhees not to your own intellect.
        Knowledge of Islam is not achieved, it is bestowed. Books will not teach you what a few hours of the company of a sheikh can. Allah set down this deen, and He set down the path to achieve it.

        I will advise you to refrain from talking philosophy, as our scholars have disliked it.

    4. Also, do you have a link to Yusuf’s Urdu comment? Maybe he was quoting someone else?

      The reason I’ve been paying such close attention is that I actually thought I recognized him from Twitter! I know someone there, also a blogger, and they are very similar in some ways, except I know the other one is fluent in Urdu.

      I may post my Sharia series here first, and if you’d like, you can critique it before I post it to the FRA, insha’Allah. ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. Actually I dont have the link because Im not on disqus anymore. But Im pretty sure it was his own comment. And sometimes to be honest, I feel a resemblance between him and elcid.

    5. Hmmm….there really is a dilemma as far as discussing Islam. On the one hand, it would be better if only true scholars were advising people, but of course this is not how they spend their time.

      Second best is those who have enough knowledge to at least properly understand and cite scholarly opinion, in a way that is beneficial. Unfortunately we don’t even have a lot of those on disqus.

      So the option is that we just close our channels and let the loons have an open field. I think that is also a problem. I would rather we have some voice.

      Now, I’m no a Salafi by any measure and Fex has stated the channel is supposed to be near the “center of gravity” in Islam (Sunni Traditionalist). That of course is not Salafi, though they do use islamqa sometimes.

      I’m interested in this point about how to talk to non-Muslims vs Muslims. Do you have a link to an article that expounds on that further?

      My pieces on philosophy are not to promote it. Not at all. They are to explain how the Muslims came to it much earlier and Ghazali explained the limits of reason centuries before Hume and Kant. It is to defend religion AGAINST philosophy, and also to defend Ghazali against false accusations.

      There are two misleading strands of though promoted in the West. One is that the Muslims merely bequeathed Greek philosophy to the West. Like a swine with a pearl he merely handed off and of course that’s completely wrong. Also that Ghazali ended Islamic progress, even though it still went on for 300 years. Rather by the stage when he was speaking, Muslims were already in decline…and the Europeans were ascendant.

      Philosophy can’t answer many questions, though people wrongly assume that it can. So the point is to reaffirm it DOES NOT explain or refute Islam (or belief in Allah more generally), not to contradict this conclusion.

      1. Deleting Islamic channels is not giving free space to loons as Muslims defend Islam on the internet. Disqus however is not trustworthy and completely pointless.

        Fex, I am sorry to say is a Salafi, no matter how many times he claims not to be. Because some of his beliefs are against Ahlus Sunnah, like following Albani, who is considered deviant. As well, Ahlus Sunnah believe it is compulsory for a layman to do taqleed of one of the four schools of thought. Fex is not a muqallid, considers taqleed wrong, neither is he an Aalim. Hence he brings his own opinions in deen or brings the text directly from Quran and Sunnah, both of which are wrong.

        The method of talking with a non Muslim is from a bayan and not an article. This is why I asked if you understand Urdu. It is from Mutakallim Islam Mohammad Ilyas Ghumman. His website is Ahnafmedia.com.

        Imam Ghazzali(ra) did not end Islamic progress. He was a little controversial on scholarly level, but for us he is still an Imam.

        I dont know if you have heard of tasawwuf. It is also known as tareeqa and is a means of cleansing oneself from the influence of our nafs. Salafis consider it wrong whereas it is a part of deen. Our scholars deem it compulsory for any scholar to practice tasawwuf so that they can keep cleansing themselves from impurities, and so that there hearts can open further for knowledge. It would be great to write about it.

      2. Sorry…your comments were falling into spam for some reason.

        When you say Disqus is “not trustworthy,” what do you mean exactly? The visitors on that platform or the platform itself? I have a great fondness for Fex as a brother, as well as respect. I don’t know all the particulars of his method engagement, but I’d rather talk generally about the FRA than make it about him personally.

        Yes, for a long time I attended latifiya every Sunday, though not so much lately. It’s hosted by a tariqa on the Shadhilli path of tasawwuf. I posted an article from an affiliated scholar, which Yusuf didn’t like. It’s also cross posted here: https://icanhazkhilafah.com/2017/11/11/making-70-excuses-for-others-in-islam-a-key-duty-of-brotherhood/

        My biggest issue with the channel is not feeling it’s a climate where I can post something and we can discuss it politely, with mutual respect. I feel like if we could, then we could all learn together. But unfortunately I’ve been hesitating even to post this very basic series because I don’t want to be attacked. It’s not even loons I fear, but rather other Muslims, and that’s what’s sad. I don’t experience this among the Muslims in our group in real life, alhmadulilah. I can ask them anything.

        As for your earlier comment, let me ask you what you would do in a particular scenario. Let’s say a loon comes along and does some copy and paste of verses from the Qur’an, saying they mean something they don’t (you know how they paste from hate sites). How would you handle that?

        Also what do you mean examples instead of evidence? Can you explain this as it pertains to something specific?

      3. I mean the visitors on disqus. Atleast from my analysis of the place, people tend to develop stalking habits over there. Its full of trolls and stalkers and Islamophobes. And the Muslims there are very few and mostly apologists or uneducated about Islam.
        I am not against dawah on internet. The nature of disqus is not of dawah, it is of fights. My opinion vs your opinion. And if our opinions dont match, we create sock accounts and stalk each other. This is the nature of that place.

        I am not making this about Fex. I disagree with the Salafis but I ca get along because they are still Muslims. The major problem with them are two things. First disrespect of Ulamaa, since they have not the benefit of studying or staying with Ulamaa, they have no respect for them. Second, their presentation of Islam. It makes matters worse rather than solving them. They do not know how to explain anything since they didnt learn it from anyone themselves.

        When I mentioned giving a misaal to a non Aalim, I was not talking about non Muslims. I was talking about regular Muslims, the laymen. Although same method can be applied to non Muslims, usually with them we do dawah on Islamic ettiquettes.

        I too have noticed how reverts are treated. Not just you but also Joni. Its surprising, because where I come from reverts are given more respect. If your real life circle involves Pakistanis, then you must have noticed from them that they respect reverts and not condescend them. This is the effect of the teachings of true scholars of Ahlus Sunnah.

        I would not entertain a loon who copies from hate sites. As for one who is genuinely interested, I will refer him to the work of a scholar and not give him a few words answer which will make me sound like an apologist. Like people who speak on the marriage of Aisha (ra), the answer is not that it was custom back then. No, I will refer them to a book on the seerah of Aisha (ra). One simply cannot read it and have the same opinion by the end.

        I will give you a few videos of 2-3 minutes which will explain what I mean from examples instead of evidence, and this method can be applied to genuine non Muslims and loons too. Im lucky I found some videos of Moulana Ilyas Ghuman with subtitles.
        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QDTpxTEhv3U
        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EdvFVKC4f2U
        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iBQKsc-Xc7g

      4. Thank you for finding these videos for me. I’ve watched them, and our scholars actually use similar examples in class. It’s a great way to explain in that setting. I’m not sure how to apply it on Disqus, but at least now I know what you mean.

        I agree there are a lot of issues with the visitors on the channels (as distinguished from blogs where it’s just a comment plug in). Disqus isn’t rigorous enough with authentication, so people can set up a bunch of sock puppets. If they run wild and stalk and harass people, Disqus generally won’t do anything about it.

        It’s full of Islamophobes, yes, but so is the West in general now. I used to walk around freely but now I’m glared at and sometimes harassed in the shops and streets. It has been especially bad since Trump was elected, so it’s just normal now to feel the hate everywhere. To hear the demonizing lies about Islam and Muslims, and to feel overwhelmed by it all. That’s America now. Disqus is just a reflection of that reality.

        But we have improved the situation there by banning the loons on the FRA and TGR. They are at least not dominating and flooding the place.

        The bad attitude toward converts that I’ve seen comes from just one person. In real life, it took me a very long time to find a good group of Muslims. They are a mix of “born Muslims” and converts, and some of the “born Muslims” wandered off or were raised in nominal homes, and came around to practicing. This is not a mix that invites that sort of supremacy.

        I think all the issues aside, Disqus is good in that it does allow Muslims to congregate and support one another. That means something to me.

      5. I understand your position on disqus and I will respect it. The only reason I feel so adamant to stop Islamic disussions on FRA is because it was initially my idea to start the channel. So I feel whether I participate or not, I will get sin everytime something wrong happens there. Had I known back then that Fex is a Salafi or that Disqus is such an unreputable place I would have refrained completely.

        Nfaly was a Salafi, he too was self taught in Islam. And no matter how much he says he is sick of things at home, or he needs fresh life, the point is studying comparitive religion brought him to this position. He himself said that when he started reading the Taurah a year ago his belief in Islam started to waver. Without knowledge of Islam he studied Judaism, and used disqus of all places as a means to escape his problems at home. This resulted in what it resulted and could have been avoided had he studied from a teacher.

        I do not trust Yusuf, I have slight feeling he is elcid.

        Im truly sorry to hear how things are in the West. This is the fault of non other but us Muslims collectively. And if we do not set right our affairs, soon this can be the state of Muslims all over the world including Muslim countries. We need to hold fast to the method of our salaf (predecessors), and improve our condition.

      6. Ah, okay! Now I get it. I think…let’s see.

        In our classes, if I ask the sisters a question, they will only go so far as to make sure the understand what I’m asking. Once we have a clear question, we go to the scholars. I asked them why and they said if you give someone correct guidance, there’s reward and if it leads to benefit, you share in the reward for that. But if you give them wrong guidance, the opposite may be true. “Maybe” because intentions weigh heavily too and Allah is merciful, but we should be ever mindful.

        So if you started the FRA then what is trickling down from it may reflect similarly on you. Is that right?

        I would say at some point it has to be possible to absolve yourself completely. You are not responsible for what others do. You have already suggested deleting the channel when Fex was the owner. You have suggested the same to me now that I’m the owner. You didn’t intend to start it with this sort of results, and you don’t want to participate now. Those are very clear intentions.

        It’s good you transferred out of ownership, and are not participating, if you are convinced it’s doing more harm than good. Our failure to take heed and delete it rests on us. How can it be otherwise? It would not be fair if you’ve made your appeal, and you have—quite clearly.

      7. Yes you are right. That is bothering me. But I did not create the channel, Fex created it. I had no ownership in it. It was started on my suggestion because a fight had broken out that disrupted MNC channel.

        I am positive now that you have clearly understood my concerns and my position on dawah of Islam. I am also glad that you are in the circle of good people in real life and that they do follow the method of Ahlus Sunnah.

        A lot of my doubts have been cleared out now. Since you own the channel, I trust it is in better hands and give priority to your judgement regarding it over mine. I will let this matter rest now.

        Thankyou for your time and patience. It was a productive discussion and I am glad I approached you. I hope we will keep in touch.
        Wassalum u alaikum wa rahmatullah.

      8. By the way, years ago, I would have objected strenuously to the idea we’re in this miss because of our own wrongdoing. I would have said it’s the fault of the imperialists who block us at every turn. But now I see this is true because we’ve abandoned Islam and descended into confusion and chaos. The Western imperial powers can fully exploit us for this reason, even though they themselves are now in steep decline. May Allah guide us all.

    6. After this conversation, I’m fully convinced this is you. I’m glad you stopped by.

      I woild really like to fully understand your reservations. At this point, I can’t really parse this. I was trying to get your points before when you were on Disqus.

      If you have the patience, I’ll do my best and maybe we can agree on something with regard to the FRA. Insha’Allah.

      1. Its alright, I will be patient inshallah.

        I think my previous comment didnt get through. Did you recieve any?

    1. Hmmm…..there has been a troll coming here pretending to be various friends from Disqus, including Fex, Nfaly and Gul. So it’s hard for me to know if it’s really you. Usually I confirm by asking the person on Disqus, but I think you deleted your account.

      Since you are NOT on the proxy the troll tends to use, I’m optimistic. Let’s say it really is you….

      Salaam Sis…great to see you’ve stopped by. ๐Ÿ™‚ Of course you can talk to me anytime. Here or DM on Twitter @LennCat, or email lenncat@protonmail.com.

      1. Walaikum asalam. It is indeed me, and not a troll. However I understand if you would like me to confirm myself, for which you can ask me anything you like. I do not use twitter and prefer not to give my email to anyone. So I think it would be ideal to talk here.

    2. There is no “reply” on the comment where you asked me if I understand Urdu, so I’ll reply here.

      Sort of….I can’t speak fluently, but if you write in Urdu, I can usually make out what you’re saying. http://disq.us/p/1pp4pbw What I probably can’t do very well is reply in Urdu. Not beyond something very basic. ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. Alright. I just thought maybe I could show you some bayanat in urdu that would help. Anyways, you must remeber that I raised the issue of deleting Islamic channels on disqus. That is what I would like to speak about.
        I dont trust that place anymore. Honestly, you dont know who trust. I saw a post from Nfaly in Urdu and even one from Yusuf, although it seems impossible that either of them knows the language.
        I remembered you run a blog so it just occured to me that I can contact you here, and that you wont be a sock account or a troll because you run a blog. So I decided, I dont know if this is against my better judgement, to try to discuss that issue once again here without fear of disruption.
        And since you now own the FRA, it only makes more sense to speak with you on the matter.
        I would like to discuss some very ignorant roles played by the Muslims on disqus. And I feel that discussing the matter is more important than being silent about it.

    3. I’ve seen Nfaly speak Urdu and I was surprised, since he’s in the UK and his parents are from Ghana. How would he be fluent in Urdu? Even if he spoke it, I”d expect it to be more on my level—very basic. But you never know, with people’s various twists and turns in life.

      As for Yusuf, I’ve seen him say TWICE that he doesn’t know Urdu, once directly (recently) and once indirectly sometime back when he indicated he didn’t know what the word “bhai” means. So I would find it very odd if he suddenly started speaking and writing in fluent Urdu!

      Of course you never really know who anyone is on Disqus, or what his or her true agenda is. I’ve accepted that reality as part of the platform.

      What are your exact concerns? Do you think the FRA is doing more harm that good? Would you like to see it take some other direction? Are there people you think are undermining the channel? I’m not sure exactly.

      Lately I’ve been working on some stuff behind the scenes, including a basic 4-part series on Shariah. Then I plan to depart from that and talk about philosophy and history as they pertain to Islam. I can defend my credentials better in the latter case.

      Do you have some recommendations?

      1. Yes I think the channel is doing more harm than good. Actually the problem is with the Salafi mindset. That is the root of the problem. A salafi is self taught in Islam. They dont sit in the mahfil of ulamaa, they dont have ijazah (certificate) on any part of deen. They read Quran, learn Arabic, read the Sihah Sitta, a few works of Ibn Taymiyya(ra), some from Ibn Qayyim(ra), a lot from the deviant Nasir udin Albani, and end up becoming scholars.
        Then because they do not have the Adaab of Ilm, they will talk fiqh even with non Muslims!
        There is principles on how to do everything. One of the fundamental principles of debators in Islam is that when you want to explain something to an Aalim you explain it with daleel. When you want to explain it to a non Aalim you explain it with misaal (example). Because the daleel will go over his head. And here on disqus the daleel is being displayed in front of outrights jaahils, like atheists. Quran and hadeeth is being quoted and misquoted as thought Islam has become an orphan.
        Anyone can speak on delicate Islamic issues now, and this door has bee opened by none other than the ghair muqallideen (salafis). This is zulm on Islam. Leave fiqh to faqhees not to your own intellect.
        Knowledge of Islam is not achieved, it is bestowed. Books will not teach you what a few hours of the company of a sheikh can. Allah set down this deen, and He set down the path to achieve it.

        I will advise you to refrain from talking philosophy, as our scholars have disliked it.

    4. Also, do you have a link to Yusuf’s Urdu comment? Maybe he was quoting someone else?

      The reason I’ve been paying such close attention is that I actually thought I recognized him from Twitter! I know someone there, also a blogger, and they are very similar in some ways, except I know the other one is fluent in Urdu.

      I may post my Sharia series here first, and if you’d like, you can critique it before I post it to the FRA, insha’Allah. ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. Actually I dont have the link because Im not on disqus anymore. But Im pretty sure it was his own comment. And sometimes to be honest, I feel a resemblance between him and elcid.

    5. Hmmm….there really is a dilemma as far as discussing Islam. On the one hand, it would be better if only true scholars were advising people, but of course this is not how they spend their time.

      Second best is those who have enough knowledge to at least properly understand and cite scholarly opinion, in a way that is beneficial. Unfortunately we don’t even have a lot of those on disqus.

      So the option is that we just close our channels and let the loons have an open field. I think that is also a problem. I would rather we have some voice.

      Now, I’m no a Salafi by any measure and Fex has stated the channel is supposed to be near the “center of gravity” in Islam (Sunni Traditionalist). That of course is not Salafi, though they do use islamqa sometimes.

      I’m interested in this point about how to talk to non-Muslims vs Muslims. Do you have a link to an article that expounds on that further?

      My pieces on philosophy are not to promote it. Not at all. They are to explain how the Muslims came to it much earlier and Ghazali explained the limits of reason centuries before Hume and Kant. It is to defend religion AGAINST philosophy, and also to defend Ghazali against false accusations.

      There are two misleading strands of though promoted in the West. One is that the Muslims merely bequeathed Greek philosophy to the West. Like a swine with a pearl he merely handed off and of course that’s completely wrong. Also that Ghazali ended Islamic progress, even though it still went on for 300 years. Rather by the stage when he was speaking, Muslims were already in decline…and the Europeans were ascendant.

      Philosophy can’t answer many questions, though people wrongly assume that it can. So the point is to reaffirm it DOES NOT explain or refute Islam (or belief in Allah more generally), not to contradict this conclusion.

      1. Deleting Islamic channels is not giving free space to loons as Muslims defend Islam on the internet. Disqus however is not trustworthy and completely pointless.

        Fex, I am sorry to say is a Salafi, no matter how many times he claims not to be. Because some of his beliefs are against Ahlus Sunnah, like following Albani, who is considered deviant. As well, Ahlus Sunnah believe it is compulsory for a layman to do taqleed of one of the four schools of thought. Fex is not a muqallid, considers taqleed wrong, neither is he an Aalim. Hence he brings his own opinions in deen or brings the text directly from Quran and Sunnah, both of which are wrong.

        The method of talking with a non Muslim is from a bayan and not an article. This is why I asked if you understand Urdu. It is from Mutakallim Islam Mohammad Ilyas Ghumman. His website is Ahnafmedia.com.

        Imam Ghazzali(ra) did not end Islamic progress. He was a little controversial on scholarly level, but for us he is still an Imam.

        I dont know if you have heard of tasawwuf. It is also known as tareeqa and is a means of cleansing oneself from the influence of our nafs. Salafis consider it wrong whereas it is a part of deen. Our scholars deem it compulsory for any scholar to practice tasawwuf so that they can keep cleansing themselves from impurities, and so that there hearts can open further for knowledge. It would be great to write about it.

      2. Sorry…your comments were falling into spam for some reason.

        When you say Disqus is “not trustworthy,” what do you mean exactly? The visitors on that platform or the platform itself? I have a great fondness for Fex as a brother, as well as respect. I don’t know all the particulars of his method engagement, but I’d rather talk generally about the FRA than make it about him personally.

        Yes, for a long time I attended latifiya every Sunday, though not so much lately. It’s hosted by a tariqa on the Shadhilli path of tasawwuf. I posted an article from an affiliated scholar, which Yusuf didn’t like. It’s also cross posted here: https://icanhazkhilafah.com/2017/11/11/making-70-excuses-for-others-in-islam-a-key-duty-of-brotherhood/

        My biggest issue with the channel is not feeling it’s a climate where I can post something and we can discuss it politely, with mutual respect. I feel like if we could, then we could all learn together. But unfortunately I’ve been hesitating even to post this very basic series because I don’t want to be attacked. It’s not even loons I fear, but rather other Muslims, and that’s what’s sad. I don’t experience this among the Muslims in our group in real life, alhmadulilah. I can ask them anything.

        As for your earlier comment, let me ask you what you would do in a particular scenario. Let’s say a loon comes along and does some copy and paste of verses from the Qur’an, saying they mean something they don’t (you know how they paste from hate sites). How would you handle that?

        Also what do you mean examples instead of evidence? Can you explain this as it pertains to something specific?

      3. I mean the visitors on disqus. Atleast from my analysis of the place, people tend to develop stalking habits over there. Its full of trolls and stalkers and Islamophobes. And the Muslims there are very few and mostly apologists or uneducated about Islam.
        I am not against dawah on internet. The nature of disqus is not of dawah, it is of fights. My opinion vs your opinion. And if our opinions dont match, we create sock accounts and stalk each other. This is the nature of that place.

        I am not making this about Fex. I disagree with the Salafis but I ca get along because they are still Muslims. The major problem with them are two things. First disrespect of Ulamaa, since they have not the benefit of studying or staying with Ulamaa, they have no respect for them. Second, their presentation of Islam. It makes matters worse rather than solving them. They do not know how to explain anything since they didnt learn it from anyone themselves.

        When I mentioned giving a misaal to a non Aalim, I was not talking about non Muslims. I was talking about regular Muslims, the laymen. Although same method can be applied to non Muslims, usually with them we do dawah on Islamic ettiquettes.

        I too have noticed how reverts are treated. Not just you but also Joni. Its surprising, because where I come from reverts are given more respect. If your real life circle involves Pakistanis, then you must have noticed from them that they respect reverts and not condescend them. This is the effect of the teachings of true scholars of Ahlus Sunnah.

        I would not entertain a loon who copies from hate sites. As for one who is genuinely interested, I will refer him to the work of a scholar and not give him a few words answer which will make me sound like an apologist. Like people who speak on the marriage of Aisha (ra), the answer is not that it was custom back then. No, I will refer them to a book on the seerah of Aisha (ra). One simply cannot read it and have the same opinion by the end.

        I will give you a few videos of 2-3 minutes which will explain what I mean from examples instead of evidence, and this method can be applied to genuine non Muslims and loons too. Im lucky I found some videos of Moulana Ilyas Ghuman with subtitles.
        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QDTpxTEhv3U
        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EdvFVKC4f2U
        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iBQKsc-Xc7g

      4. Thank you for finding these videos for me. I’ve watched them, and our scholars actually use similar examples in class. It’s a great way to explain in that setting. I’m not sure how to apply it on Disqus, but at least now I know what you mean.

        I agree there are a lot of issues with the visitors on the channels (as distinguished from blogs where it’s just a comment plug in). Disqus isn’t rigorous enough with authentication, so people can set up a bunch of sock puppets. If they run wild and stalk and harass people, Disqus generally won’t do anything about it.

        It’s full of Islamophobes, yes, but so is the West in general now. I used to walk around freely but now I’m glared at and sometimes harassed in the shops and streets. It has been especially bad since Trump was elected, so it’s just normal now to feel the hate everywhere. To hear the demonizing lies about Islam and Muslims, and to feel overwhelmed by it all. That’s America now. Disqus is just a reflection of that reality.

        But we have improved the situation there by banning the loons on the FRA and TGR. They are at least not dominating and flooding the place.

        The bad attitude toward converts that I’ve seen comes from just one person. In real life, it took me a very long time to find a good group of Muslims. They are a mix of “born Muslims” and converts, and some of the “born Muslims” wandered off or were raised in nominal homes, and came around to practicing. This is not a mix that invites that sort of supremacy.

        I think all the issues aside, Disqus is good in that it does allow Muslims to congregate and support one another. That means something to me.

      5. I understand your position on disqus and I will respect it. The only reason I feel so adamant to stop Islamic disussions on FRA is because it was initially my idea to start the channel. So I feel whether I participate or not, I will get sin everytime something wrong happens there. Had I known back then that Fex is a Salafi or that Disqus is such an unreputable place I would have refrained completely.

        Nfaly was a Salafi, he too was self taught in Islam. And no matter how much he says he is sick of things at home, or he needs fresh life, the point is studying comparitive religion brought him to this position. He himself said that when he started reading the Taurah a year ago his belief in Islam started to waver. Without knowledge of Islam he studied Judaism, and used disqus of all places as a means to escape his problems at home. This resulted in what it resulted and could have been avoided had he studied from a teacher.

        I do not trust Yusuf, I have slight feeling he is elcid.

        Im truly sorry to hear how things are in the West. This is the fault of non other but us Muslims collectively. And if we do not set right our affairs, soon this can be the state of Muslims all over the world including Muslim countries. We need to hold fast to the method of our salaf (predecessors), and improve our condition.

      6. Ah, okay! Now I get it. I think…let’s see.

        In our classes, if I ask the sisters a question, they will only go so far as to make sure the understand what I’m asking. Once we have a clear question, we go to the scholars. I asked them why and they said if you give someone correct guidance, there’s reward and if it leads to benefit, you share in the reward for that. But if you give them wrong guidance, the opposite may be true. “Maybe” because intentions weigh heavily too and Allah is merciful, but we should be ever mindful.

        So if you started the FRA then what is trickling down from it may reflect similarly on you. Is that right?

        I would say at some point it has to be possible to absolve yourself completely. You are not responsible for what others do. You have already suggested deleting the channel when Fex was the owner. You have suggested the same to me now that I’m the owner. You didn’t intend to start it with this sort of results, and you don’t want to participate now. Those are very clear intentions.

        It’s good you transferred out of ownership, and are not participating, if you are convinced it’s doing more harm than good. Our failure to take heed and delete it rests on us. How can it be otherwise? It would not be fair if you’ve made your appeal, and you have—quite clearly.

      7. Yes you are right. That is bothering me. But I did not create the channel, Fex created it. I had no ownership in it. It was started on my suggestion because a fight had broken out that disrupted MNC channel.

        I am positive now that you have clearly understood my concerns and my position on dawah of Islam. I am also glad that you are in the circle of good people in real life and that they do follow the method of Ahlus Sunnah.

        A lot of my doubts have been cleared out now. Since you own the channel, I trust it is in better hands and give priority to your judgement regarding it over mine. I will let this matter rest now.

        Thankyou for your time and patience. It was a productive discussion and I am glad I approached you. I hope we will keep in touch.
        Wassalum u alaikum wa rahmatullah.

      8. By the way, years ago, I would have objected strenuously to the idea we’re in this miss because of our own wrongdoing. I would have said it’s the fault of the imperialists who block us at every turn. But now I see this is true because we’ve abandoned Islam and descended into confusion and chaos. The Western imperial powers can fully exploit us for this reason, even though they themselves are now in steep decline. May Allah guide us all.

    6. After this conversation, I’m fully convinced this is you. I’m glad you stopped by.

      I woild really like to fully understand your reservations. At this point, I can’t really parse this. I was trying to get your points before when you were on Disqus.

      If you have the patience, I’ll do my best and maybe we can agree on something with regard to the FRA. Insha’Allah.

      1. Its alright, I will be patient inshallah.

        I think my previous comment didnt get through. Did you recieve any?

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